Self Awareness

“I've been sitting here for 45 minutes and I haven't written a single word of this essay and I don't know if it's because I'm stuck or because I stopped caring.”

“I told myself I'd only check Instagram once and it's been an hour and a half.”

“I smiled and said congratulations when she told me about the promotion and I genuinely don't know if I meant it.”

“I think I've been mentally checked out of this relationship for months but I don't know how to start that conversation.”

“I saw my ex has a new girlfriend and logically I'm fine with it but I went very quiet for the rest of the evening.”

“I said I didn't want kids for so long that I've stopped questioning whether I actually believe it.”

“I put my phone face-down when he walked into the room and I'm not even doing anything wrong, which makes it weirder.”

“I volunteered to stay late and I have no idea why because I don't even like the project.”

“She remembered my birthday and I forgot hers last month and I've been overcompensating in small ways ever since without saying anything.”

“I told myself I was being productive but I've just been reorganizing the same three folders on my desktop for an hour.”

“I walked past the gym again today and I didn't go in and I've been making up a different excuse for eleven days now.”

“My grandmother asked if I'm happy and I said yes and she looked at me like she didn't believe me and I think she was right.”

“I like the idea of this friendship more than the actual hanging out, and I'm not sure what that says about either of us.”

“I got really quiet at dinner when they started talking about traveling and I pretended I was just tired.”

“I sent the email and immediately wanted to take it back for a reason I can't fully articulate.”

“I keep looking at my old photos not because I miss that time but because I can't figure out when exactly things shifted.”

“I think I've been performing being okay for so long that I don't always know the difference anymore.”

“I've been snapping at my roommate for small things and I know it's not about the dishes.”

“My friend is going through something hard and I've been showing up for her and some small part of me is waiting for it to be my turn.”

“My mom said she's proud of me and I waited my whole life to hear that and I didn't feel what I thought I'd feel.”

“I've lost count of how many Sunday nights I've felt exactly this way and it's starting to feel permanent.”

“I haven't cried in a long time and I'm not sure if I'm managing better or just further from myself than I used to be.”

“I keep thinking about that one comment my English teacher made when I was sixteen and how much it still shapes what I write.”

“I went to my college reunion and came home feeling not nostalgic but confused about the choices that led from there to here.”

“I keep waiting to feel ready and I'm starting to understand that's not how it works but I can't stop waiting anyway.”

“I don't recognize the person in videos from a few years ago and I'm not sure if that's growth or loss.”

“I've been journaling for a week and every entry says the same thing in different words.”

“I'm sitting here trying to figure out if I'm deeply unhappy or just tired, and I honestly can't tell the difference tonight.”